Dear prominent Ladies and Gentlemen,

It is our absolute distinct pleasure to inform you that a new gentleman has just entered the prestigious verbal jousting arena! So please give a warm gentlemanly welcome to Albert. He’s an enterprising chap who’s sure to bring additional levity to all of your Blue Mondays.

But that’s not all though! Today’s timely update also brings with it some new fixes and changes to help make your verbal activities all the more enjoyable.

Here’s a quick breakdown of what the update includes:

• New character: An enterprising Cockney called Albert. Just Albert (do you remember that mysterious chap from our promo art? He’s finally in the game!)
• AI tweaks
• A player suggestion: The hand won’t disappear until you’re out of tea, so you’ll always remember to have that one last sip
• Satan is less cruel now, which means it’s easier to get “The Number of The Beast” achievement
• Serious Sam is a bit harder to unlock now: The ease of unlocking him was previously a result of a bug
• Winter is Leaving: No more snowing and the characters have hidden their warm clothes at the bottom of their wardrobes.

We sincerely hope that you enjoy all of what this update has to offer, and please know that we’re hard at work expanding our little family of noble miscreants. So keep an eye out on this space, as we’ll have some fun surprises in store in the near future.

Thank you very much again for all of your distinguished support!

The Vile Monarch